I want to quit Campus.

I hate waking up. I want to sleep all day, I want to watch TV all night and after that I want to eat all I can. I want to be the American bloke on TV who plays video games all day. I hate attending lectures, I hate listening to malicious professors with smelly breaths and nasty beards, what do they know?

Who wants to go to university? I don’t want to be like Daddy, he isn’t cool, all he does is wear suits, drive to the office and pretend to be a consultant. Quincy Timberlake is cool, he is invisible like John Cena. I want to be a big deal, like Ng’ang’alito, I want to be a husla, live the street life and talk about beefs in hip hop. I want to get my car shot at like Mwau, I want to be on TV like Sonko, I want to be Okwonkwo

I want to be the cool guy who left campus and became a rapper. I want to throw away my books, find a studio and become something cool like a DJ. I want to record a few tracks, with skimpy girls dancing for me. I want to be the guy who shouts “WASSUP!”, on a stage while waving his arms. I want to sag my trousers, wear big sunglasses and pretend to be a celebrity like Prezzo. I want to wear a cap backwards and talk through the side of my mouth. Quitting campus is the way to go, Bill Gates and Kanye west did it, I will make it too, I will start a business selling airtime on a lift, nobody has ever done that, have they?

Who wants to go to university? I don’t want to be like Daddy, he isn’t cool, all he does is wear suits, drive to the office and pretend to be a consultant. Quincy Timberlake is cool, he is invisible like John Cena. I want to be a big deal, like Ng’ang’alito, I want to be a husla, live the street life and talk about beefs in hip hop. I want to get my car shot at like Mwau, I want to be on TV like Sonko, I want to be Okwonkwo. YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING?

I want to be on magazines, I want to be followed by paparazzi. Finally I am starting to think like a youth, I am hating Mututho.  I am starting to blame those wazees for ruining my fun, Isn’t that what Kenyan youth is about?