Life in the Armpits

This is to the numerous who have committed felonies or alleged to have committed Felonies. It is a tribute and sort of an indictment to those who are incarcerated for various crimes or allegations. I am hoping to give you an enlightening preview of the Kenyan penitentiary institutions. May this be a solemn warning to those who are criminals and those who would be criminals.

"in Kenyan prisons food is eaten raw and it is served in paint tins. Kenyan prisons are the place where colours don’t exist; it is where even the clothes are in black and white. The only colours in prison are the occasional buckets of fresh diarrhoea. It is strange how a diet of white uncooked maize flour and green uncooked kales can turn into such rich colours, what should I say?"

Few things are worse than being in a Kenyan Prison; Kenyan prisons are possibly the blueprint for hell. It is the place where people rehearse for hell. I suspect that Kenyan prisons are the reason Jesus was born 2000 years ago, he preferred to be used like timber than risk being held hostage in a Kenyan Jail. Kenyan jails are the place you don’t want to be. Kenyan Prisons are the place you don’t go if you value your anal Virginity. Kenyan Prisons are the places where peoples posteriors are ruined by sex starved inmates and bothersome and inquisitive wardens. Kenyan Prison warders will examine your posterior cavities like they lost something in there. It has been alleged that Prison warders have found even cell phones concealed in there, I guess there is good connectivity even in there. Let me stop the shitty talk here… It is rather unpalatable.

The Kenyan penitentiary institution is a place of misery. It is the place where human rights end. Kenyan prisons are possibly the worst of any prisons on the planet. I reckon even Nazi concentration camps were better, save for the occasional inconvenience of being cooked by the third Reich. In Kenya a prisoner dies everyday, in Kenyan prison food is eaten raw and it is served in paint tins. Kenyan prisons are the place where colours don’t exist; it is where even the clothes are in black and white. The only colours in prison are the occasional buckets of fresh diarrhea. It is strange how a diet of white uncooked maize flour and green uncooked kales can turn into such rich colours, what should I say? It’s the miracle of defecation. Possibly relieving yourself is the only luxury in Kenyan Prison.

Kenyan prisons are a parody of togetherness. Kenyan prisons are the ultimate in space economics, In a Kenyan prison 40 people can fit in a ten by ten cell. In Kenyan prisons people sleep leaning on each other, of course they are always kept comfortable by Lice. Apparently the prisons department breeds lice. I have compared Kenyan prisons to living In a matchbox but a matchbox is much more cleaner than a Kenyan Prison. I think the only fair comparison for Kenyan prisons are Armpits, the armpits of an obese woman who works as a cook in Majengo, the woman could possibly be called Conje. Kenyan prisoners would be the hairs in Conje’s armpits. Compared to Kenyan prisons, I reckon that Sinai would be much more comfortable, save for the inconvenience of burning up.