I would rather eat a Kabambe than own one.

There are few things that I find as repulsive as a Kabambe, I think it’s an insult as a phone and nobody deserves to own a Kabambe. You see, a kabambe is like a sexually transmitted disease, it’s very embarrassing for anybody to know that you have one. It’s the kind of phone that you don’t answer in a Matatu; it’s the kind of phone that you look around before you pull it out. When you have a kabambe and it starts to ring you pray that it’s not yours. The Kabambe is the phone that made your girlfriend dump you.

It’s the kind of phone that you don’t answer in a Matatu; it’s the kind of phone that you look around before you pull it out. When you have a kabambe and it starts to ring you pray that it’s not yours. The Kabambe is the phone that made your girlfriend dump you

Whoever made the Kabambe had never heard about fashion, he had never heard about design and worst of all he had never heard about Dignity. In all its short comings, the Kabambe lacks dignity more than anything else. Let me put it simply, when they did a survey for mobile phone ownership, they had a separate category for Kabambe. You are better off without a phone than with a Kabambe. Rather than buying a Kabambe you should buy a watch, all a Kabambe does is show time and embarrass you, buy a watch and save your money.

Don’t get me to be an elitist megalomaniac who despises cheap things, I don’t hate the Kabambe because its cheap, I have seen cheap phones with dignity, my first phone was a Motorola C113, and I still have it and I would prefer it to a million Kabambes. My hatred for Kabambes is intractable; I would rather eat a Kabambe than own one.