My previous titles on Alliance high School have been popular hits, I started by thoroughly offending Alliance High School old boys with the post “My Miseries at Alliance High School”, this was found to be disgracefully offensive by most of the AHS alumni, its not that I am apologetic, No, far from it. AHS alumni are a painfully dull lot and nothing offends them more than fun. Nothing is more interesting than watch their “Bush Egos” loose fat on a work out of insolent retaliation, very refreshing… Then I captivated them with “Alliance High School 2030”, A humorous exploration of what AHS would look like in the future, interesting… Today, it’s a different story, I want to show you how life at Alliance High School was… let me give you a sample of an “interesting” day at Alliance High School. Good.
The last hour of sleep is always the most interesting. Nothing is more interesting than sleeping in, I always remember the difficult choices I had to make in my bed at Arthur House dorm 16A, Every morning I faced the Dilemma of rocketing (going for early morning prep) or ‘planking’, of course being the “indolent and unfocussed” boy I always chose the easier choice, on this morning I did the same, in fact I pretended not to hear the Morning bell as usual, unfortunately this was the morning after people had risen (appointed prefects). All off a sudden, heavy footsteps and shrieks of terror as the fresh batch of Prefects descended on innocent commoners (Non prefects). I am instantly “arrested” and my details are demanded, being an Obstinate monkey (another term for non prefects coined by a former Dining hall captain) I bargain, I try to plead I was praying but it doesn’t work. The day starts with an appointment to the punishment parade; I had surely woken up on the wrong side of the coffin…
I ease from the shock and I prepare to go for morning work. I search through my locker for some fresh pair of socks, unfortunately the only clean pair is a bit of a “funnel” that kept sliding down my legs, and apparently the socks had lost their virginity as I had tried to wear them with my shoes on. So I walk into a Lifter’s (aspiring prefect) cube to see if I could find some rubber bands to suspend my “buggy condoms (socks)”. I attend to my morning work station to avoid an “exorcism” from Mr. Mutali…”Is STUPID! IS MUJINGA!! COW DUNG! COW DUNG IN THE HEAD!!” … That was Mr. Mutali’s trademark in the office, but Mr. Mutali was a Lovable character with a good heart, unlike YANS…
Finally its breakfast time! In Alliance High School nothing was more important than Breakfast, It was the only meal we enjoyed in that school, I especially Loved the porridge, but Breakfast was a scarce meal in that school, Often it was missed in that school. As a form one I sat on a gluttonous table called Table 6 of Aggrey House. On that Table there was a Dissolver (Hyena) called Kanae, how he never grew fat was a feat of Nature… After breakfast we would go to class for morning Registration and then parade. I rarely ever went for morning registration since I tended to get reported to my class teacher for Noise making, I was frequently summoned by Mrs. Isinta, on a few occasions a gawky boy called David would forward me for being an inconvenience to his life…
After registration there was the dreaded morning parade, parade was always an affair of me walking around to avoid prefects who were searching for Recyclers to book, don’t get me wrong, I was not a Filthy boy, I always wore my clothes once but the prefects always hunted me maliciously… I had certain magnetism for prefects, I don’t know if I “turned them on”, but they were always after me… It would have been easy to miss parade but I always looked forward to watching Mr. Khaemba address the school. Mr. Khaemba the principal was a very interesting speaker who staggered as he spoke, I always looked forward to seeing him fall off the parade, but he always stopped at the edge, of course that was a Joke, I never wished him ill…After parade we went to Chapel and I must say I loved the Hymns
Then there would be lunch at 12.35… Unfortunately it was not a smooth walk into the dinning hall to consume my ration… I had an appointment at 12.37pm, The Punishment parade. The Punishment Parade was the Place Alliance High School Boys would strip Naked and receive damnation, Ruthless… Legend had it that some boys had gotten pregnant at the punishment parade; It was a good thing to carry a condom, protection… TO BE CONTINUED ON “A NIGHT IN ALLIANCE HIGH SCHOOL”…
5 comments:
I mean the sarcasm, irony or cynicism that you are aiming for is great,ambitious and achievable but being a commoner at Bush I must say that you make very many loaded comments on things. I feel like this is more a 16A issue than a general issue with other dorms. I'm not necessarily saying all dorms were homogenous but that there are variations....
Here's your 'unsoclicited' response ;)
let me hope the Kanae u reffering to is not me coz my table was 13A since 2001 to 2004,otherwise i did not know any other Kanae in bush,il whip ur ASS if u referring to me as a hyena n how would i fatten if i was in rugby????????
hehehehe,i recall i could b the one,but surely dissolving breko does not make one a glutton,u were lazy to get to D/H on time and i only did what i needed to do to get u active especially after my morning sets.take it in good faith n u can trace me for a bottle or two in compensation,did not mean it i am sorry,am sorry for keeping u hungry.
kanae mwenyewe,ata ya makarau nilidisolve,ask maikweki,mokaya frank,n albert jumba,sembuse yako????
you should compile your stories and publish them. give thanks for the misery that leant so much colour to your life for those four years.
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