I would Rather Have a Donkey

It’s hard to contemplate anything great the French have ever made. Before the French revolution, the French invented the Guillotine, a fast and efficient way to amputate heads. The French gave the world Napoleon Bonaparte, you know his story and he is the reason you cannot name a Pig Napoleon in France. The French have always had a laissez-faire attitude towards craftsmanship. In the First World War the French made a gun or let us say improvised the Chauchat. The Chauchat was at best a roll of intestines that farted bullets occasionally. The chauchat was the weapon that was meant to amuse the enemy rather than cause casualties. I was not writing to give you a synopsis of French History, I want to ridicule their cars.

There was a time when Kenyan roads were only reserved for Peugeots. The Old faithful ran the show like a circus, it was claimed that Peugeots were “Made for Africa” but the truth is that it was just a polite way of saying IT COULD NOT BE ACCEPTED ANYWHERE ELSE. I remember we owned a Peugeot pick up once, sadly its monoqocue construction meant it could not really carry a lot. It was a pick up for the Cat walk. I have to say that the French were the first to widely apply monoqocue body construction in cars but sadly most “French firsts” aren’t glamorous. The French were the first to do a face transplant and the person ended up with a bottom of a baboon for a face. Facials aside French cars and especially Peugeot were famously unreliable. I missed many days of school as a kid when the family Peugeot had its irregular periods of leaking oils and engine tantrums. There are few things which offend me more than a Peugeot, Honestly as a means of Transport I would rather Have a donkey.

...I missed many days of school as a kid when the family Peugeot had its irregular periods of leaking oils and engine tantrums. There are few things which offend me more than a Peugeot, Honestly as a means of Transport I would rather Have a donkey...

In their magnificent quirky era Peugeots made a reputation for their Jamming doors, windows and sloppy electrics. The CID used Peugeots back then and laughter was made when they arrived at a crime scene and had to get out through the windows. The truth is this; the only car that ever brought more misery than a Peugeot was a Volkswagen beetle, which to say the truth was the personal afterbirths of a mass murderer. I reckon Peugeot has never made a great car like the Ford Mustang, The VW Golf GTI, The Land rover Defender or anything else for that matter.

Maybe the Peugeots of modern day are better, yes they are but still they scratch the bottom of the totem pole of automotive pedigree. A Peugeot 407 is a far cry from its God forsaken ancestors but the problem is its as expensive as a Mercedes or BMW at least here in Kenya. I would rather Get a German equivalent over a Peugeot.