Friday 27 April 2012

Allow me to loose my mind...


Whenever I go to a bank I always wonder, why is it they have a ramp and stairs? I appreciate their effort to accommodate the disabled but why have both? I reckon that able bodied persons could use the ramp, couldn’t they? The only sensible thing is to have the ramp at the entrance and no stairs. That is common sense 101…

 The roof let in quite a lot of weather and the conductor tried some very interesting improvisations like chewing gum and using it to “mend the punctures”, unfortunately he didn’t have enough teeth to chew all the gums necessary to improvise a tent…Eventually the driver realized we could drown in the matatu and he parked for us to take shelter outside a shop…


It’s the rainy season now, that’s nothing much but its very interesting to remember that the metrological department had predicted minimal rainfall, how embarrassing? The rainy season always brings interesting tidings… Recently I boarded a matatu in bondeni nakuru, bondeni is the type of neighbourhood that smells of chang’aa all the time. In Bondeni they brew chang’aa next to the police station, sometimes inside. On this day I was in a Bondeni matatu then it started raining, nothing much still until you consider the matatu was a “convertible” with a “punctured” roof. The roof let in quite a lot of weather and the conductor tried some very interesting improvisations like chewing gum and using it to “mend the punctures”, unfortunately he didn’t have enough teeth to chew all the gums necessary to improvise a tent… A lady actually had to open her umbrella in the matatu to cover her baby. Eventually the driver realized we could drown in the matatu and he parked for us to take shelter outside a shop…

Sadly, the heavy rains drowned the carburetor in the matatu and we had to “float” home somehow. I had heard about police reforms and so I felt it was time for me to seek assistance from the police, so I walked into the bondeni police station to borrow an umbrella. A sergeant commanded for a cell to be opened and I thought,”They keep umbrellas in a cell? Then she barked for keys to the handcuffs to be brought and I thought, “The umbrellas are handcuffed?”

Soon I realized the cell was mine and the handcuffs were for me. I didn’t want to sleep in their “cattle dip” or eat their Spartan Menu….

4 comments:

Richard said...

Hahaha...you never cease to amaze me Phillip! Amazingly drolly!

poizonette said...

handcuffed umbrellas? really???
i enjoyed reading:-)

Anonymous said...

Phil, Ray here. Good stuff, as always.

Money Press said...

Thanks a lot guys, check out my newest post coming about now...